Behind the Scenes of a DVD Production; the Making of:

 

You’re Not Crazy & You’re Not Alone:

Inside the Inner World of Dissociative Identity Disorder

 

By Wendy Lemke M.S. Licensed Psychologist

 

 

 

The motivation and desire for this project was fueled by a need I’ve recognized for a number of years.  This need is two-fold; first, as a therapist that has worked with dissociative identity disorder, (D.I.D.) for over fifteen years, I’ve come to know how difficult it can be to learn you have this disorder.  Often when individuals are first diagnosed with D.I.D. they are in disbelief, and they feel completely isolated and alone.  They often fear and worry that they are crazy.  Even after working with a therapist for a while, they still wonder whether or not they should believe the things they hear in therapy as they often don’t have any recollection of some of the information obtained from their alters.  I remember working with one individual for almost a year, and when I was telling her about an email that was sent to me by one of her alters.  She said, “I know you’re telling me the truth but I have to admit it’s still really hard to hear things like this, as I’m quite sure I haven’t been on the computer at all this week, a part of me still worries you might be trying to trick me.”   This is an all too common feeling and one that is easily understood given the difficulties, memory impairment, and vulnerability that often accompany this disorder. 

 

I often recommend reading material written by others with the disorder, as it helps validate some of the ‘craziness’ an individual may be feeling and I always advise them, that they shouldn’t rely on just what I say.  I want them to obtain information from other reliable resources as well.  I want them to understand that the disorder really exists and that there is other information about it besides what I’m sharing.  I’ve also become aware of how helpful it is to talk about (in general terms of course) experiences of other D.I.D. clients.  On occasion I’ve obtained permission to share artwork, journal entries, and/or poetry, which has helped the treatment process considerably at times.  These individuals need to know they are not alone.

 

Although, group therapy for D.I.D.’s can be beneficial, it can also be counterproductive, especially during early phases of treatment.  It can also be very difficult to find an adequate group, as sometimes individuals have to drive a great distance just for their individual therapy. 

 

The value of hearing from others with the disorder is matched by the desire of these individuals to find someone who truly understands them, and no one understands better than those with the disorder; they are the real experts.  These are all thoughts that contributed to my desire and plans to produce this video, but I also hoped the project would fulfill another need as well.

 

I’ve become increasingly aware and professionally frustrated with the lack of professional knowledge about this disorder.  These individuals have suffered horrendous abuse and a lifetime of difficulties and the mental health profession hasn’t always treated them with the compassion and expertise they deserve. 

 

Greatly contributing to this problem is the lack of adequate education.  I learned very little about dissociative disorders in my graduate training and my desire to learn more only came about because of a client that presented with what I thought at the time were rare symptoms that resembled multiple personality disorder.  I also know however, that it is quite rare for D.I.D. to present in an obvious way, so if you don’t have education about assessing for this disorder, you’re not likely to ‘see’ it and if you don’t ‘see’ it, you’re not going to see any reason for seeking further education. 

 

People tend not to believe in things they haven’t seen and/or experienced.  I don’t know how many times I’ve heard about other professionals saying things like, “I’ve worked in this field for twenty years, and have never come across the disorder yet, so I don’t believe it exists”.  In fact, just recently the spouse of a client of mine, who has D.I.D., went for help at a V.A. hospital that was supposed to have a dual diagnosis program for addictions and trauma. He was told by the admitting psychiatrist, “He needed to grow up and take responsibility for his problems, that there was no such thing as D.I.D.”  He is still struggling to find adequate treatment within the Veterans Administration system. 

 

My hope is by providing an opportunity for the disorder to be ‘seen’.  We can start to plant a seed for professionals to at least consider the possibility of this diagnosis.  Professionals need to know that people with this disorder ‘look’ like everyone else and quite often they are not aware of the disorder themselves.